This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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