haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
