im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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