WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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