clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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