Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
