remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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