I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize