What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
