Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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