Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
