she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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