she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
