I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
