remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize