I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
