i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
