I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
