I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
