Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
