Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
