When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
