And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize