Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize