During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so let's talk penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
