the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
