dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
