He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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