I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
