remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
