he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
