Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
