I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she smelled like a LAN party
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
should my penis look like a turkey
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize