Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
