so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
