just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
