I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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