why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize