She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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