what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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