why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
