I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize