Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
