Ketchup is God's man juice
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
