so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
