nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
