Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
