Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
