what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
