you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
