So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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