You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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