His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
