If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I supernannyed him into submission
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
