You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
