It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
