i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
