part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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