i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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