I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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