The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
