found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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