Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
