I wish I could teleport
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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