she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
